Aaron:
You have been one of the most faithful in youth and in helping with the constuction of the beds. I am curious whether you are doing it right. What I mean is, have you examined your motives and attitudes? This would be a good thing to do Prayer of Examen over.
Also, my understanding of how God works is that nothing is wasted. That is, He will use our efforts and circumstances in life to show us Himself, what He is up to, and what our hearts are like. In this case, you have spent lots of time with the youth program activities. I assume that God is wanting to use them to show you lots of things. Is He getting through?
He has for me. I would be very interested in anything you could share about this.
2 comments:
It is great that you are recognizing some of the things he is trying to show you. A couple of thoughts. First, he is probably trying to show you a whole lot more than you are picking up. You have been quite involved, so you have put yourself in the position to sense God's movement in and around you. You have to realize that God is active (that is the kingdom of God Jesus referred to - God acting). He is not far away, he is close, particularly when you are doing something like building beds for kids who are poor and do not have one. That is love in action. You are loving God the only way you can really do it, by doing what he said. Remember what Paul Shackleford said: The poor are divinely designated to be the recipients of our expressions of love to God. God is, in turn, loving the children by moving in your heart to build them beds. You are His arms and legs. You are bringing His justice on earth as it is in heaven. In essence, you are in His will. Don’t miss this by seeing what you are doing as anything else. That is why I asked about your attitude. By attitude, I do not mean having a “bad attitude.” I mean you state of mind and heart.
You should not have to wait weeks and months to experience the kingdom. Next time you come out to help, try this. Approach the whole thing prayerfully, like you did when you practiced Prayer of Examen. Remind yourself you are in the presence of God; with gratitude, thank Him for the special pleasure you have experienced so far that day; ask the Spirit to help you see his movement in and around you this day. Then be attentive in all that unfolds. Don’t let distractions choke out this awareness. You never know where you will see Him acting. It may be what he does in your heart as you see the beauty of one of the horses galloping across the property. It may be in the words and eyes of someone you converse with. It may be in your heart as you sanding a board. This is hard to write about. You just have to try it and experience it. Remember, nothing is wasted. There is not such thing as failing in trying to do something like this. You will always learn something. But you must practice. You are good about coming out to help. Make sure you are being good about your attitude when you do come out.
Give yourself credit. You have "willed" to go out there most every week. So, regardless of what other influences were impacting your will (body, mind, feelings, social), you still willed to go out there. Why did you? Was it because you sensed it was the right thing to do in your heart? If so, you did good in overcoming the other influences prompting you to do otherwise.
It is kind of like fasting. Fasting is never pleasant for the body. But we do it anyway because we have a high purpose than satisfying our hunger. A fast is not a failure if you get hungry and find it unpleasant. As this applies to working on the beds. If you feel tired or moody or wishing you were somewhere else while you are out there, this is not a failure. It is a success because you are out there doing it despite feeling that way. This assumes you are out there because you are sensing that God wants you to - you obey this despite the other parts of our self screaming out to satisfy its own desires.
By the way. The more you do this (that is, resist our selfish desires and obey), the easier it gets. Think of all this as practice.
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