[more on the email thread concerning why our small teen discipleship group has started to suck]
C: i just read the actual email, instead of just the first line. the point i was trying to make about why monday nights sucked for me recently was that i don't get as much of the hands or heart stuff from sitting around complaining about [name deleted], enjoy it though i may. [name] and [name] both impressed me by the way that they actually have an ounce of compassion for people and yet they both are actually sincerly interested in the will of God. i always (subconciously) thought that the only way to serve God was to figure him out. seeing that i don't have to become a servile, conforming moron in order to have compassion was just huge for me.
ME: As far as small groups go, they naturally lend themselves to head stuff. Even talking about being and doing is a head thing. If you want it to go beyond that, it seems there needs to be a commitment to actually pursue the heart and action stuff outside of the group. Then you would have something to actually talk about. Otherwise it is just theoretical. For example, I have lots of questions related to my practice of contemplative prayer, but it is senseless to talk with someone who does not practice it about it. To me, that is like throwing the pearls before the swine. I have suspected that that is what we were missing in group. At one meeting, do you remember when I stated that if you were on the road of discipleship, you would have lots to bring to the table in group? I suspected that all or some were not doing anything more than showing up for group. Nothing wrong with doing group like this, except that it tends to suck, or at least just be an intellectual exercise.
What do you think? How do you make a small group not suck? What should you do if it does?
3 comments:
Doing things together as a group.....like taking on a project together.....sometimes you have to do things outside of the scheduled meetings to actual get to know people and create that connection. Sometimes small groups seem to be forced friendships just because you have to be. From my experience, doing things outside of group that aren't 'spiritual' work in amazing ways....
well..i am in a small group that doesnt stink...i think it helps that it is with all of my friends that i hang out with the most...cuase it is kind of hard to have a serious small group when you are in a room with people you dont know very well...and typically small groups that cant be serious tend to be a failure...my small group doesnt really do any projects really outside of the group...but we hang out with eachother alot during the week and stuff...thats not really anything that can get down to the heart level of things or anything...but the fact that we can talk about some pretty difficult stuff with eachother is amazing in itself...we arent doing anything that can really teach us more besides the fact that we meet everyonce in a while and have a little bible study...but when we talk about serious stuff then(at least for me)...it can really do some good on the heart level of things...
I agree Tommy, you can't force a friendship. But sometimes we can agree to be in a group not for friendship, but to help move each other forward in some way.
Good points Aaron. Groups seem to have their own agenda. Sometimes those agendas are explicit and sometimes they are implicit. People seem to bring thier own agendas to group even when it does not match the stated purpose.
In the case of a discipleship group, you are either doing discipleship or you are not. What do you do when the group drifts from discipleship? It seems to mean that the people in the group really don't want to do discipleship, don't know how, or they just got off track and need to be put back on track. This takes some discernment.
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