Let's look at some of the process of disciplehip before we get into specifics.
Most "discipleship" seems to happen one-on-one or in a small group. Let's take small groups for a minute. I have been doing small groups for the past 28 years, so I have seen lots of different variations. I can safely say that people go to small groups to meet different needs they have. For some, those needs are social. For others, it is for the stimulation that goes with deep, meaningful conversation. There are bunches of these different types of needs that people bring with them to group. Most seem to be motivated to do groups to meet these needs, regardless of what the group's stated purpose is.
A few years back, I was in a spiritual formation small group with some men. This group made explicit its purpose that we were going to learn and practice different spiritual disciples. Everyone agreed on this up front. Did it happen? No! The individual members had their own implicit purposes for coming. It didn't require too keen of observational skills to see what their implicit purposes were. One guy showed up and just seemed to want to talk about how God had disappointed him and how things were unfair. Another person seemed to come to be with a group of men, you know, the old "iron sharpens iron," macho sort of thing. Others seemed to just like sitting around talking about spiritual issues. Few actually practiced anything. All this is fine, its just not discipleship.
My point? To do discipleship, it seems you have to be intentional about doing it. So much so that you are willing to face the tendency to deceive yourself about what your real motives are. Self-deception and the desire to fulfill our needs are powerful. Perhaps more powerful than we realize. Fulfilling our needs feels good, but it is not discipleship. It seems to me that every discipleship relationship needs to face this square on before you can ever start the process.
How does one do this? I know what doesn't work - talking clearly and openly about what the nature of the group is to be. This type of rational, clear, direct approach is no match for self-deception. I suspect it would take something more confrontational, something like the "hot seat" approach. We will have to talk about this in another post.
Sound not too desirable? It doesn't for most. That is why it doesn't go on much.
Any thoughts?
Next up (maybe), if discipleship is not about meeting our needs, then what is it?
2 comments:
no offense...but you seem to be dodging the question as to why you think that all the "traditional" discipleship things are pointless and a waste of time...i still think that they are good...im just a kid though...but all those things you are saying...the social needs that need to be met(community is good...from what i can tell...Jesus spent a lot of time with people...including his disciples..)...talking about spiritual things and being open(how do you expect to go anywhere in a discipleship relationship that cant ever open about stuff?)...i dont know...just wondering...
You don't need to worry about offending me and you are not just a kid!
Be careful here. I never said these things were pointless. Shoot, I make my living working with and addressing people's needs. There is value in these things. I am saying they just aren't discipleship.
In discipleship, you need to be open and vulnerable in a community, know your bible, and read good books. They just aren't the same things as discipleship. I would argue, then, that we not accept them as discipleship. Discipleship is a process that may include some of these elements, but ultimately goes beyond them.
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