Process 1

In one of my discipleship relationships we are working on "quiet" times. We have been working on what they were doing and experiencing during their quiet times. This persons wants to "actually commune with God instead of wasting my quiet times day dreaming and worrying about stupid things."

Having some ask you to help them something like this forces you to reflect on the process of this type of activity. Here are some of my reflections from my quiet time last night. I know I am sticking my neck out. Be careful with that ax you have in your hand. I may share some of this with this person, or may not.


Let me see if I can articulate some of what a contemplative time does for me. Maybe later we can try and apply some of this to what I think those times are meant to do. This is all hard-core process, which is hard to describe.

Last night I spent 20 minutes in contemplative prayer. I started the time in a typical frame of mind, which was a near complete absorption on the “cares of the world”, which for me was all the things I had to do, concerns about events and mistakes I have made from the recent past, and worries about things coming up. I think it is easy for me to have this frame of mind given my busy lifestyle and responsibilities; however, it is often not a particularly enjoyable or healthy frame of mind. It is also often accompanied by frustration and irritability. Probably more important, though, is what it precludes: an alternative frame of mind; more about that later.

At the start, I did not feel particularly relaxed. There was a barely perceptible anxiety present. Not the debilitating type, but the kind that often fuels my activity to get things done. I also kind of felt like I had tunnel vision or like I was in a narrow, closed-up space.

I set the timer for 20 minutes. I like using a timer as it frees me from thinking about time. I go until the timer goes off. It had been some time since I last had a formal contemplative time like this so I wondered if this would feel long. In contemplative prayer, I have been taught to choose a focal point as a means of focusing attention. This time I focused acutely on my slow deep breathing. On each exhale I say “Jesus” in my head. For the first several minutes, it was easy to observe the frenetic activity of my mind (Wow, this goes on all day long?!). The thoughts came and my attention wandered. I have learned to not get bent out of shape when this happens, but just to bring my attention back to my breathing and holy word “with all the force of a feather landing on a pillow.” The thoughts seem more active, impulsive, and random at first, but this lessened as the time went by. I settled into a sort of rhythm of focused attention and, almost without notice, wandering down some thought trail. After some time, I would become aware that my attention had wandered. I would matter-of-factly notice the content of the distracting thoughts and gently bring my attention back to my breathing. This felt like a rhythm, but at a slower pace than when I started, the thoughts were not so frantic and pressured.

I glanced down at the timer at about 15 minutes into my time. It felt like less time had gone by. As I continued, I noticed that I was starting to drift into Stage 1 sleep. I know this because I have learned the difference between the feelings of sleep onset and a meditative state. In sleep, noises are startling and my thoughts take on a sort of dreamlike quality. In a contemplative state, I have a sharper awareness of noises in the environment; it is more like I am experiencing the sensations. When I notice this, I make some movement to wake myself up and go back to the practice.

When the timer goes off, I am in a very different frame of mind than when I started. I seem much more focused on what is going on around me right now. My mind is not overactive like it was at the start. The guilt, worries, and events of the day are still there, but what is more noticeable is the expansiveness of my experience. It is like the world is much wider and open. The difference in my being from before and after is like the difference of being in a small, cramped room and being outside with the big sky. The cares are still there, but I seem to see them from a different perspective. I wonder if this is what CS Lewis called “the other life.” The words ‘satisfaction’ or ‘contentment’ seem appropriate descriptors of the feeling.

The experience is transforming, at least in state of mind, in a slow, quiet sort of way. It certainly is not an adrenalin rush or dramatic experience.

I then opened to my place in Luke and read some of the Sermon on the Plain.
As I left the room, the same responsibilities are there, but they all seem okay and in their proper place. This frame of mind continued as I continued on with my life that evening.

What is going on here? How does this experience related to Christian spirituality and life? How does this differ from other forms of non-Christian spirituality? How does this experience relate to the teachings of Jesus and the kind of life he is calling us to? How is this prayer? How would you describe the process of your “quiet” time? Come discuss this with us as we build beds for poor kids. Or post a comment if you dare.