Finding Families

One of the more common questions people ask when they talk with me about UC is "Where do you find the families?" Why this question, of all the things a person could ask about what we do?

I think I know why people ask. I asked myself a similar question several years back. For probably about the past 15 years (give or take 5), I have had a strong sense that showing compassion to the poor and oppressed was a good thing and something I needed to do more of. There are frequent and direct examples and teachings in the bible about this, they are hard to escape if you are paying any sort of attention. However, I was not entirely sure how to go about acting on it. I knew the poor and needy where out there, I just didn't know how to come across them in a way that would allow for the type of interaction and occassion that would reveal the needs and provide an opportunity to work on meeting the needs. I was stuck in this mode for quite some time, at least a decade.

Doesn't the fact that we have to ask a question like this reveal what part of the problem is? We are the kind of people who live in such a way that we move through our lives and can honestly say "Where are the poor and needy?" This type of uncertainty creates a sort of helplessness as far as doing.

I think I will do several posts on the answer to the question of how we find families. I could talk about it conceptually or I could share part of my journey. The later runs the risk of sounding prideful, that dreaded slope to the left of the narrow ridge. The journey has been one inadequacy and humility, hopefully I can convey some of that.

It wasn't that long ago that I could not answer the question. Now I can. How did I get to this place?

On Friday, Keith, William, and I were walking out of River Front Park in NLR after an intense mentoring time with William. As we were leaving, we came across a man sitting on one of the park benches. This was a scene like countless others in my life. In the past, I might have made brief eye contact with the man, perhaps with a little suspicion, and walked on past without saying anything, or at most said hello without slowing down.

I had seen the man walk by us eariler as we were eating our lunch. As walked by I noticed the plastic bag he was carrying which made me wonder weather he was homeless.

Later, as we were leaving the park, we passed by him sitting on a bench. I stopped and looked him in the eye.

M: "Are you staying on the street tonight?"
X: "Yes."
M: "Where are you staying?"
X: "Over there" (pointing to the bridge)
M: "So you are sleeping on the streets and not in a shelter?"
X: "I thought about going to Compassion Center but I don't like the reverend out there."
M: "You hungry?"
X: "Yes sir."
M: "We have some pizza left over, would you like some?"
X: "Yes sir, thank you."
William hands the man a couple slices.
M: "Grace and peace to you."

The whole thing took 30 seconds.

How is it that in this situation, I became aware of and acted on this mans needs, where in most previous occassions I was unaware, or when I was, I did not act?

How can I become the kind of person that comes across the needy? How can I become the kind of person that can find families that need beds, love and some words of life? It starts with something about me, about being. It also has something to do with fear, intentionality, and perseverance. It has something to do with pushing back against the comfortable numbness and self-serving indulgence that the system has lulled us into.