I have been having a discussion with two youth who are meeting with me on Monday nights. I have been hestitating about continuing with the meetings. In the past, such meetings have turned into something not too satisfying. So, I have been challenging them to talk about why they want to meet and what we should do during the time. K and I had a brief discussion today that went something like this.
K: Are we going to go through the book we talked about?
ME: [me, hemming and haaing] I have done books in small groups for years and years and they go like they have always gone. We cover the purpose of the universe in 40 days. Having solved that one, we look for another book to go through.
K: Then what do you want to do?
ME: I am not sure. I am trying to figure out how to do discipleship.
K: You don't know what to do?
ME: I believe there must be something specific about discipleship. Jesus seemed to have some specific things that he taught.
When I was in graduate school and was learning to do therapy, I was in supervision with a psychologist who was teaching me, basically, she was discipling me in how to do therapy. She empahsized the importance of building trust and rapport. One of my first patients during this time was a 15 year old Black teenager from the ghetto who was the only woman in Oklahoma ever convicted of rape. There I was an older, white, fortunate guy learning to build rapport with a young, black, female rapist from the hood. Sure enough about 6 weeks into therapy, she and I developed this incredible rapport. Problem was, now that I had rapport, I wanted to know how to do therapy. I remember making this statement to my supervisor: "There is a Dan Fogelberg song called 'Now that we have love, how do we make it stay.' Now that I got rapport, how do I do therapy?" I wanted to know if there was something specific about therapy, over and above building rapport.
I think the same about discipleship. It is not just about being vulnerable and opening up. That is a necessary component, but once you do open up, there must be some specific things that are important for discipleship. Some things that make discipleship discipleship and not just deep sharing and discussing.
K: Like what?
ME: Maybe that is where we should start.
3 comments:
and you expect a 15 year old kid that is stuggeling with the whole discipleship thing too to have the answers?...well i dont...at the moment i dont even have any suggestions really...i will think about it though...
Many years ago, I was reading the Great Commission and had a strong desire to make disciples, but didn't know how to do it. Some time before that a man had given me a book called Personal Disciplemaking. I had not read the book, but I thought it might give me some help, so I picked it up and began to read. This is probably the best book I have ever seen as far as being a "here is how you do it" resource. If you want to know more, let me know.
Aaron: No, I am not really expecting you to have answers! Don't get distressed by me not having them either. Don't get me wrong, I have worked with lots of people in a "discipleship" relationship. I am just pushing myself and us to go deeper and not be satisfied.
The point of this post is that maybe discipleship should start with a discussion of what it is and the process of doing it. In future posts, I will write about some other thoughts I have about the process.
Allen: Sure, I would love to look at the book!
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