It's all about lunch

Keith and I took William to lunch yesterday. No real agenda other than to spend some time with him. When you live in poverty, you don't get many invitations to go to lunch. He has no money to go to lunch. He has no transportation to go to lunch. He has no friends or family to take him to lunch. We had pizza, a salad and fresh brewed root beer.

He told us his story. We've lived in different worlds. I basically know nothing of what it's like to grow up like he did. I know nothing about what it is like to live in the situation he and his family are living in now. With my middle class sensibilities I have to resist the simplistic, stereotyped, uninformed "get a job" solutions. The problems he is facing, to me, appear overwhelming. However, when we stopped looking at the problems and started paying attention, the strengths became apparent. William is clean and sober. He is sticking with his family, in the midst of a nearly unworkable situation that many others would walk away from. He has perseverance and determination. These are huge.

His situation is complicated. The short-term crises are consuming and scary, if you consider having to move your family back into a shelter. But our purpose in taking him to lunch had little to do me and my need to fix things. Over lunch, we were able to begin to dream about the long term a little. Hope is a powerful thing. Has anyone every told William that his efforts to take care of his family were heroic? Has anyone ever told this ex-convict that he has some noticable strengths?

We didn't take him to lunch to solve his problems. We just wanted to love him. We did that and love did what it does. As I drove him home and he talked with me. It was clear that he was deeply touched. Why would anyone care enough to take him to lunch? His affect had noticably changed.

We have met some of the basic needs of William and his family over the past several months. I think this lunch may have done more for him and his family than anything else we have done for them.

Grace and peace to you and your family, William.