Sunday, February 21, 2010

Daddy, how do you pray?

When my daughter was about 14 or 15 years old, she asked me a question which broke my heart. The earnestness of the question revealed her pain. “Daddy, how do you pray? When I pray, it feels like my prayers just bounce off the ceiling.” I ached to spare her the all too familiar crisis; however inevitable. To add helplessness to heartache, I honestly could not answer her question. All I had to offer were platitudes that had been passed on to me.

Her question haunted me for years. My brooding prompted me to reflectively ask a good friend of mine, “Do you think our children’s spirituality is bound by our own level of spirituality?” It certainly seemed like my level was limited by that of my mentors or lack thereof. Her question sparked a resolve in me to not let my level be a limiting factor in my children’s. Her question propelled me on a search for an answer. Not an answer as thin as words from the head, but one deep as experience.

This experience led to one of my markisms: You can’t give what you don’t got. Others have expressed this idea much more eloquently than me. Jesus did a nice job: “A student is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master.”

* * * *

The problem with using this phrase is that it makes you seem like a snob. I used it tonight in an interesting discussion with some friends. We were discussing some of the contemporary Christian books and writers. I am not a big fan of many of them. I suspect that few of them will be read by many 50 years from now.

If I were going to apprentice with someone to learn a craft, I would want to work under a master. I would not want to work under someone who had the language, ideas, and creativity, but had not mastered the craft themselves. If I am going to spend the time to read a book on Christian spirituality, I want to read an author who has something to give; someone who has paid their dues and mastered some things.  The authors of many of the contemporary Christian books are giving what they got, unfortunately, it just not that much more than everyone else has. 

2 comments:

Greg Graham said...

Mark, I agree with the essence of what you are saying. After all, I am a fellow Willardite. If I'm in a room full of all the evangelical leaders alive today and a meaningful discussion is taking place, I'm going to be constantly glancing at Willard, Eugene Peterson and Tom Wright to see what they think (not sure Wright counts as an Evangelical, but you get the idea).

However, I can read other guys for other reasons. I enjoy reading some of the less seasoned spiritual voices (like Eldridge) a little bit more like somebody I want to have a conversastion with. I'm interested in what he has to say and HOW he goes about saying it because I am looking for ways to TRANSLATE the big boys for my own good and the good of others. So while I might not DEFER to Eldridge to the same extent I would the aforementioned guys, I know that he is on the same path I am on and has found a way to communicate it that resonates with a lot of people who would never listen to those other guys. So you see, HE'S DOING WHAT I WANT TO DO. That in itself is a good enough reason to pay attention to him.

I think Eldridge suffers from guilt-by-assocation with you. Because certain people and groups that you aren't very impressed with embrace him, you dismiss him. The non-conformist in you just can't embrace such a popular guy. His popularity with Evangelicals proves his shallowness. You think?

Mark Edwards said...

Sounds snobbish, doesn't it.

What Malia needed was someone to teacher her about prayer. Not just anyone. Not just any book. She needed a master, someone that has the experience to know what her problem was and how to teacher her to resolve it. Only she can give what she's got. All others with ideas but not the experience probably should keep quite. It just makes matters worse. Which is what happened to her.

I read Donald Millers new book. I wasn't going to pay money for it, but somehow my wife bought it for me. I read it. It was well-written. It was interesting enough that I finished it quickly. Then I put it on my bookshelf next to some similar books. That book could have been a tweet: Don't live a boring life. Do exciting things.

I am glad Don made enough money on his previous book to go hiking in Peru and bike across America.

I may encounter someone that I would recommend the book to. I doubt that I would recommend it to someone on the journey of spiritual formation. In spiritual formation, we need people who have mastered a few things. You have to chose you masters carefully.